Salute to Ninety-Four

The top two percent of the Nation
will join in a great celebration
to greet with a roar
the year 1994
so welcome the Mensa sensation

We all need to make resolutions
to find some effective solutions
to the problems that vex us
or threaten our nexus
like riots and planned revolutions

Let’s offer to be a good neighbor
to those whom we now do belabor
like Haitians or Cubans
’cause their only humans
and share all the fruits of our labors

Let’s banish the handguns and knives
which terminate too many lives
Have kisses and hugs
and legalize drugs
the joy for which everyone strives

Let’s hope that the new year will bring
the blessings and blossoms of spring
Free health care for all,
the fat, short, and tall
and everyone does his own thing

To a Successful New Year

The top 2 per-cent of the nation
all join in this great celebration
as we say “Adieu”
to year ninety-two,
and welcome the Mensan sensation.

Although it seems quite moronic
to write this verse so disharmonic
the reason, you see,
is I happen to be
unscrutab-ly catatonic.

It’s time that I found a solution
for keeping my new resolution
to give good advice,
not bawdy but nice,
in my limericks re-consecution.